At the age of 20, I had never had any drugs or alcohol, and had never been past second base with a girl. This lack of experience or prospects, especially romantically and sexually, put me in a pretty dark place. All my high school friends had moved away, gone to college, or even shunned me for my apostasy. My parents didn’t really seem too happy with me either, and would never shy away from the chance to remind me that I was “backslidden” and needed to “get back into church and follow my calling”. It never caught on. Still, I tried as best as I could to keep the peace with them. I wasn’t a Christian any more, but I also didn’t just flip into militant atheist asshole either. I was only working part time, so I did as much as I could to help my parents, and it’s not like I had a social life either.My 21st birthday came and went with little fanfare. My parents were staunch teetotalers, so the only alcohol I had was in secret, and for the very first time, I got drunk, alone in my bedroom.. After two hours, Enzo squirmed in the restraints, his knees aching even on the pillows, needing to relieve himself, but of course could not and would not without permission. He wasn’t unhappy; in fact he had discovered some satisfaction in being restrained, the freedom of movement taken away for a specific period of time, the chaining an integral and natural part of his submission to Master Karl. As physical discomfort increased, however, he twitched with anxiety, maybe even incipient panic. Swallowing became painful as water or beer poured down his throat as he struggled to prevent choking and sputtering. An instinctive resistance still mulling about his bones and cells and DNA, a human resistance, he understood, that had to be altered and ultimately eliminated. He tried to repress these feelings, for they could lead to questions about purpose and trust, which would only intensify unease and possibly annoy Master Karl, and there would be no accounting for the consequences. No, he.
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